In the past, the only African-Americans that Japanese people got to know were the soldiers who had been stationed there. Now, Black men are entering fields where they end up working as a professional overseas. It can be difficult to live in a country with a culture and language different from your own, let alone find a partner. However, many African-American men manage to find a relationship when living overseas. It takes some patience, understanding and some understanding about yourself as well.

  1. Take stock of yourself and make realistic expectations. In some ways, Japanese women have the same basic priorities as other women. There’s a perception that Japanese women are less [insert negative stereotype associated with Western women] than Western women. For example, Japanese women place about as much, if not more, emphasis on materialism.  There was a saying in the 80s that Japanese women were interested in a man’s “three heights;” education, background and physical height. While it isn’t a pop-culture item any longer, Japanese women are still interested in those things. Where do you excel?
  2. Learn the language. It won’t be hard to find Japanese women interested in Black men, even if just for a night. You can venture to clubs around the military bases, Roppongi (an area of downtown Tokyo) or in some hip-hop clubs in Osaka or Hokkaido. There will be many women there who speak a certain level of English and are open to relationships with African-American men. You’ll be limiting yourself, however. There’s nothing wrong with partying with party girls, but if you’re after something deeper you may want to look elsewhere. Learn Japanese, make Japanese friends, and go to places that aren’t simply about clubbing and hooking up.
  3. Be observant of Japanese customs. Japanese people will cut you some slack in understanding how you’re supposed to behave in Japan. However, if you don’t become familiar with certain customs and behaviors, especially while living there, your Japanese date may become frustrated. You might hear the phrase, “A Japanese person would know how to do it!” shouted at you in anger. Learn how to behave in the street, learn what to do at the dinner table. Japanese people tend to be very impressed with a foreigner who shows even a little knowledge about customs and culture, and it is an easy way to get praise from your date, her friends or her family.
  4. Dump stereotypes. Don’t rely on what you’ve heard from a friend of a friend or read on the Internet about Japanese people, how to behave with them and how they will react to you. Most things will not be true, but will be based on one person’s experience. It’s up to you to create your own experience. Know what you want from a relationship, prepare yourself for immersion in a foreign language and culture and use those things to your advantage. Japanese people can be very shy around foreigners. You may well have to use your charm and what you’ve learned here to draw them out and begin what may become a fantastic relationship.


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