Anyone involved personally with a transsexual knows things can be difficult. As with any type of relationship, problems will arise. Yet, there are some things that are unique to this alternative lifestyle. So, for those involved or thinking about getting involved with a transsexual, here are 5 tips for doing it successfully.
1. Respect the Gender Preference. Refer to them as “him” or”her,” respectfully.
One of the biggest mistakes made by those wanting to date a transsexual is forgetting to use the correct pronoun or label when referring to their partner. This faux pas is one that can instantly end a relationship.
For example, an individual who, though born biologically a male, is now a woman, will want to be known as “Miss,” “Mrs.,” “she,” and “her.”
One should follow this advice regardless of the situation. Even during an emergency, it is best to refer to him or her in the manner they would expect. It is this level of respect that will win the permanent affection of a transsexual.
As is true of us all, they only want one to be loved and appreciated.
2. Do not get too political. Not all transsexuals are gay rights activists.
Currently, there is a big political battle over gay marriage. The news seems inundated with stories about the issue. College campuses have protests on a regular basis. So, it perhaps understandable that you might believe that your mate has an opinion about the controversy. Perhaps, they do. However, it is better to allow the discussion to arise from them, if at all.
Just as not every racial minority believes the same way about an issue or has a serious desire to sit around all day talking about certain so-called group problems, a transsexual may not be overly concerned about gay rights at a particular time. Yes, if they are studying gender studies at the local college, you might expect them to be conversant about the topic. But, to pressure the average person to take a side in a debate can mean the death knell for a relationship.
3. Never be ashamed of them.
There is usually a potential embarrassing moment in a relationship with someone of an alternative lifestyle. Maybe you two are at a family gathering and the relatives want to know if you are “gay” couple. Perhaps, you are away from home and overhear someone making harsh remarks about your mate. What do you do?
Regardless of the path taken, in any of these circumstances, it is always best to demonstrate you are not ashamed of your lover. They cannot help how they have turned out any more than any of us. All they want from you is complete honesty. If you think you cannot always be sincere about that person being known as your lover, then it is probably best not to get involved in the first place.
4. Do not talk about life before changes too much, if at all.
In this harsh world, it goes without saying that most transsexuals had a tough life before their procedures. Family and friends turning their backs on them is all too common. A history of harassment and physical abuse is often there too. So, they usually do not enjoy talking about this part of their lives. The past is best left in the past. Try to make the present enjoyable for them.
Now, in the instant that they want to talk, you should be the shoulder that they cry on. That is your role as lover, mate and friend.
5. Never treat a transsexual partner as a sex object.
This is undoubtedly the porn age. The internet has created a beast. Free porn is available 24 hours day. You might have first become attracted to transsexuals via porn. That is not uncommon. Even among heterosexuals, many men and women witness sex initially through erotic film and photography.
So, it is also possible that you fetishize your partner a bit. Well, you obviously find them attractive. However, a problem arises if you perceive of them as a sex object more so than a human being. When you want to be with a transsexual just for the sake of sexual gratification, then you are in trouble. It will not take long for them to feel used. Nobody wants to be treated as a piece of meat.