Sometimes you meet someone incredible, but the timing for the relationship just isn’t right. With time, you two decide to go your separate ways. This can be incredibly devastating, especially if you thought that you’d be together for life. If you’ve found that you cannot move past your ex and, after dating around for a while, believe that no one is better for you than them, here are some ways to get back together and make it last.
10. Be Honest with Yourself
Before you begin the process of getting back together with your ex, be completely honest. Figure out if you really want them back or if you’re just lonely. Consider all personality traits and characteristics that your ex had that made them special. Are those characteristics really so unique? Your memory can also soften a person and make them out to be better than they are. Keep this in mind before progressing.
9. Figure out What You Want
If you have decided that your ex is indeed indispensible, then think about what you’d want from the relationship. You probably prefer a long-term relationship, but think about whether it’d be lifelong. If you want commitment, marriage, and kids and your ex didn’t, getting back together isn’t wise. If you two have the same values and life plans though, you should continue.
8. Don’t Rush
Give yourself time to get over the relationship first. Coming back to your ex while needy, wounded, and even bitter won’t do either of you any favors. Get over the past hurts. Completely forgive them. If you two get back together, you can’t bring up what went wrong the first time around. It would have to be a clean slate.
7. Find out if Your Ex Is Still Single
Of course, if your ex has moved on and found someone else, everything else is moot. If your ex isn’t single, you must let him or her go. If they are unattached though, then they are considered fair game.
6. Open the Lines of Communication
Start slowly when you try to reach out to them. Don’t drop a bombshell about wanting to be together right away. Instead, be friendly and approachable. Your ex may be hot and cold initially as they try to read your intentions. Anticipate this ahead of time. However, if they don’t want to talk to you anymore, respect that and don’t push.
5. Talk and Hang out Casually
If your ex gradually does warm up to you though, consider arranging a casual hangout. Reiterate how this isn’t a date. This outing benefits you in two ways: first, you can figure out if your feelings for your ex are still there or if you were holding on to an illusion. Second, you can determine if you two still have a spark.
4. Bring up Your Intentions of Getting Back Together
With time, after seeing each other and having fun, you can tell them that you’d want to try the relationship again. Make sure that you have this conversation face-to-face. A phone conversation also works, but don’t send a text message or email, as this is too impersonal.
3. Don’t Hold Back on What You Want
While you are telling your ex that you’d like to be with them again, now’s the time to outline your needs and wants. If you do, for example, want to settle down and start a family in the near future, mention this.
2. Let Your Ex Express Themselves
Next, let your ex respond to everything. If their desires are in alignment with yours and they still have feelings for you, they may want to give the relationship another go. However, there is also a chance that they may decide that it’s best to leave the past in the past.
1. Be Understanding
Whatever your ex’s decision is, don’t try to convince them otherwise. You’ve done all you can at this point. You two will either be together again (hopefully for good) or not.